Recommit, Realign & Learn To Say No

Part of becoming successful is the ability to realign yourself with what aligns with you, recommit after short and long periods of time and learning to say *no* to anything and everything that doesn’t purposefully align with what you’re doing & focus. Ignore everything that isn’t a precise part of what you’re doing and the goals you’re set to achieve.
 
…and while you’re at it..grow a backbone and learn to get real clear with people real fast. There’s almost nothing I’m uncomfortable saying or addressing…even the unpleasant stuff. I force myself to rip the bandaid and keep it moving..fast. This applies to prospects, potential clients/partners, those pitching me, family, friends, etc. Closed mouths don’t get fed. Directness saves time.
 
You have to be OK with others NOT being OK with your decisions. You are not responsible for people being upset over doing what’s best for you. That’s their own problem that THEY are internalizing and projecting on you because they haven’t done enough work on themselves to adapt more beneficial behaviors. It is NOT your problem if someone is in their feels because what you’re doing doesn’t align with them or benefit them.. This isn’t about them..It’s about YOU. 🙂

It’s about BOUNDARIES and only allowing in what you can handle or desire to handle. It’s about keeping the balance and peace in YOUR life. There’s one of you and you are possibly interacting with hundreds of people in any given month. You will need to learn to say NO to most of them unless they’re directly contributing to your business goal and idea.This can be done without being abrasive or wasting time. In fact, it takes only 30 seconds to say something to the effect of: “Hey (insert name)..I appreciate you thinking of me, but I made a promise to myself to focus only on what I’m doing until I hit some personal goals I set for myself. I think you’re great and what you’re doing is great but I have to pass at this time. I still look forward to seeing your success!”…if in business. A LOT of times, because you will become more in demand as you grow, people are relentless…so they’ll push, ask questions, etc. ANYTHING but a general “OK” reply to you is going to be a waste of your time..and they are essentially NOT respecting your boundaries after YOU have given them the common courtesy of a “No thank you..not right now..” so repeat yourself and reiterate it once more before fully ignoring .. “Hey (insert name)..I’d love to chat more but I am super busy right now and have to go. I have some serious goals I need to handle and I’m not stopping until I see them through. Gotta run! Have an awesome week!” + add a funny/cool sticker …this always seems to lighten the tone of the convo…I like to add in a hug or heart symbol (if it’s a woman lol) or a Minion (Despicable Me) waving Bye or something of that sort (if it’s a man).. You can be firm and nice if they’re someone you like!

After that…ignore..You’ve made yourself clear and at this point they’re being EXTREMELY rude and disrespectful otherwise. You cannot continue to get sucked into this. If you don’t know the person well, I’d just block. If you are still stepping into your power…choose the “Ignore message” option from within messenger (see pinwheel or press down on message for options to pop up).. This places their messages/replies into a folder you cannot see and must go looking for …you can even read their messages without them seeing you read them .. 🙂

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If you’re dealing with someone personally who is a distraction in your life..you can say something to the effect of “Hey (insert name)..I hate to be short…I really have lots of love for you but I have to buckle down the next 6 months and hit some MAJOR goals so I won’t have any time for (leisure FB chatting, phone calls, etc.) during these hours. I hope being so close to me you can totally understand that and know that I’ll think of you when I have time to come up for air…” I’ve done this with many friends…to the point I even needed to block them on social media because they were such a damn distraction. If they confronted me and asked why, I simply said “I’ve got so much love for you but I had to meet deadlines and feel like we were being distractions to one another. I utilize my social media and phone for business..it’s my moneymaker and means of survival..so I just had to buckle down and laser focus..You’re so much fun I’d be tempted to goof off with you..”.. and a lot of times this is the truth…and sometimes it’s a mixture of them being fun but TOO much drama and whining..but if you want to smooth things over with someone you care about, that’s a pretty decent line.

Expect that even when you tell people these things, SOMETIMES, they just may not be mature or selfless enough to respect and accept them as a well developed adult SHOULD. Not everyone has done proper work on themselves, so you have to accept that they just may not like it…and have to suck it up. You need to do what’s best for you! If you have kids, you have zero time and energy to even worry about a grown adult being in their feels as this interferes with your ability to parent and provide for your children. Your business is your means of survival. It’s their butthurt feelings or your kids, in a lot of cases.. Think of it like that..because when truly get down to it..that’s what it’s all about.

As with most adults, we want the best for our children. We have a certain amount of energy and patience that is spread between our children and business..Adults who cannot accept respectful, clear and mature communication are simply not part of your problem.

Get back up on your feet and make a promise to recommit to yourself…daily.. The truth is, we lose our initial fire…but there CAN be a warm glow and light that carries us through this journey, if you continue to feed it and nurture it 🙂 The first step is to make sure you don’t burn out by following a lot of what I covered in this article.

Realign with what’s important to you. Do what pleases YOU. You know what that is in your heart and soul. If there’s something you’ve been questioning letting go, really evaluate yourself. Are you letting go because you hit a bump in the road? Did you really put your all into it, follow a blueprint and see it through? If so, it may be time to move on. If not, I want to discourage you from giving up for the sake of giving up. They are two different things though.

And lastly, be proud of yourself for saying no. People will respect you more…they don’t need to like it or like you..but trust me..they will respect you. You’ll INSTANTLY save time, lower your anxiety and stress and be able to stay committed and focused. You won’t be discouraged as easily because you’ve created strong boundaries and stuck with your goal/channel!

Go be the badass that you are!

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